Running time: 51:47 mins Intro Actual advert for Tom’s Happier Scriptwriting course followed by old radio instructional on how to do customer service. Theme TC wishes to learn more about Crowley Towers, a broadcasting studio as of old, but before that the HQ of the British Libertarian Association. His emails to the borough council are…

Running time: 42:37 mins Intro Martha asks Julie why her skin looks so good: it’s Crowley Time! Theme The relaunch of the pod after Madrigal is now a party experience, like Mamma Mia! The Party or The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time: A Forking Good Night. It’s called Crowley Time Party Time…

Running time: 61:41 mins Madrigal Tez Tucker, billionaire, interrupts two actors playing Mr Clematis and Mr Bloatley, performing a piece about keeping a factory open backed with ye olde Joy to the World music in the background. He pays off (one of) the actors and announces Crowley Time is now the property of his streaming…

Running time: 48:23 mins Intro Speech from Porridge but with Norbert Stephen Butler being sentenced to Crowley Time. Theme The briefness of autumn and sexy cat leotards. Sketches (3:25) Matthew and Mr Frenellum post-meeting discuss Matthew feeling undermined and anxious (but not an anxiety disorder) and abandoned in a specific situation (but not abandonment issues…

Running time: 43:6 mins Intro The deck of HMS Wally with Lt Cdr Jonathan Goodbye describing a fleet of ships lit up with fairy lamps in celebration of the king, while inebriated, despite being Ambassador for the British Temperance Movement. HMS Wally’s hull is hit by artillery and the ship sinks. Theme Tom is babysitting…

Running time: 35:8 mins Intro McDurkins gets a dressing down from the Chief and thrown off the case and announces that it’s Crowley Time with his cool gravelly voice. Sketches Aesop and Demitrios discuss the latter’s urgent issue with the money lender leading to the fable of the river rat and the hawk. The moral:…

Running time: 37:12 mins Intro Platform 1 announcement of delay to 10:22 to Bridlington: mattress on the line outside the station but only one employee who has to stay in the office, last day on job, looking forward to a can of M&S Prosecco with the vacuum robot. Keywords The year 202X at The News…

Running time: 41:29 mins Intro Ghost train announcements Keywords Skellanora Profanicata Creeping the shite out of people for 10 years Most unsettlingly desirable witch, Glasgow HorrorCon 2012 Horror Channel’s Gold Pissy Drawers award 2018 Scariest/Spookiest Enterprise, Scottish Business Awards 2022 Shockline: 0600 666 666, hold music: Bauhaus, The Cure, ‘Interview with a Vampire’ soundtrack, 8pm…

Running time: 33:14 mins Intro Norman’s Hypermart staff announcements re Level 4 spillage in Aisle 9. Named Characters and References Drag Industrial Complex Boss, Ru Paul Fengar the Brave of the Winding Valley Queen Aolia of the Mountain Folk Lord Valar’s guard Batman Forever Bradley Miss Farouq Former Secretary-General Kofi Annan Meryl Streep Archbishop John…

Running time: 42:57 mins Intro HAL’s “Daisy Daisy” bit from 2001: A Space Odyssey but with rap metal, crypto and James Corden books signifying brain melt. Named Characters and References Walt Whitman Dr Burgerman (Bergemaann?) Larry Kwame Bart Simpson Bugs Bunny Columbo David Cronenberg’s “Scanners” Keywords Theme/runner: the real you, shopping centre metaphor, stupid tangled…

Running time: 37:35 mins Intro Person on street calling you over to look at what they’ve got in their vehicle. Named Characters and References Victoria Peoria Sliminy Jimminy (from Texas) Omaha Tex (from upstate New York) Maidstone-on-the-Wield Icebeam Rick, David Rockfist and Michelle Keywords Theme: Events, when things are happening / past events / finite…

Running time: 36:16 mins Intro Person on street calling you over to look at what they’ve got in their vehicle. Named Characters and References Will-o’-the-wispMr RobertsMiss Bitchface01Greg & CaitlinIdi AminSamantha from MarketingJohnny MnemonicBatmanDisney Keywords Theme: change Personal propulsion system / forward momentum device / electric scooter on Tube Caveman leg posts / Neanderthal meat stilts…

Running time: 25:32 mins Intro Man humming and flicking through pages. Presses intercom and asks, ‘Mrs Gilderdale, is it Crowley Time yet?’ Named Characters and References Connor (Vabimba seller) Hector and Lydia Mayor Megabyte in Crystal City Nervous Beyoncé Richard Beam/Dick Beam Keywords Vabimba Shampoo: cheap, biodegradeable, non-toxic, but incredibly cruel. Lab-boys do gratuitous acts…

Running time: 55:45 mins Guest Rufus Hound (Dr Norman Manifesto) Intro Knight wants to take a dozen men to the Crest of Stark – gets interrupted by TC because there is no time. Named Characters and References Walter Jeggings Crat, his father, Jasper Mania Crat, and mother, Millicent Jeggings Thaddeus Onion Crat; Godfrey Paul Crat;…

Running time: 28:01 mins Intro Bonzo’s Dreamtime Circus: deep-fried Twix in mechanism of Hell Scream Teacup Ride announcement Named Characters and References Idris Elba Milk duds Jacob Tyler Hinkley Spanks McCandle ‘Question of Sport’ with Muhammad Ali and George Best ‘Topic Today’ with Mariella Horsebox Amanda Gerard of the Better Representation Council British comedies: ‘Uncle…

Running time: 33:22 mins Intro Mince Bob gameshow introduction of contestants about to bob for mince. Outro from same gameshow announcing the results and the Mince Bobbing Champion. Named Characters and References AltaVista Jon Ronson Freddy Krueger Henri Matisse, founder of Fauvism Prince Harry Abraham Maslow Shigeru Miyamoto Keywords Terence ‘Tez’ Tucker, 44-year-old billionaire (retired…

Running time: 28:51 mins Intro Jerry Maracas, “Shoot Me in the Face, My Baby’s Gone to Reno” Mikey Highway’s “Streetlamps and Bad Decisions Hour” WAPB Desert Road Radio Named Characters and References Mervyn Brannigan John Simpson Percy Shelley Orson Welles Marco DiPoni Mr Christmas Commander Dingle and Holly Keywords New Year’s Resolutions and The Promise…

Running time: 32:00 mins Guest Felix Trench (Quid Pro Euro & Wooden Overcoats) Intro European Parliament Named Characters and References TC does advert for Discount Bin Mary & Roy, and Patrice (Conductor no. 72 of the Union) Rupert the Bear DJ Crumpet at the Ministry of Jiggle in Copenhagen Ricky & Davy and Michaelangelo Link…

Running time: 35:00 mins Intro Clairvoyant/Spiritualist – do you wish to stare into the future? Named Characters and References Sir Chuntley Buffingham Buford & Jenny (trespassing teenagers) and Old Lumpy the Groundskeeper Brian Surgery Tim Quilting and Hugo Groin The Racist Fishmen of Arkham by H R Lovenstuff William McKinley Glovelorn Keywords Sir Chuntley has…

Running time: 38:36 mins Intro Out of breath person demanding of a stranger that they tell them what time it is Named Characters and References Winston Churchill Hastings Lees-Smith (Leader of the Opposition) Rick Astley’s ‘Never Gonna Give You Up’ Keywords Apology because of the trying times —– ‘London at War’ radio broadcast Hobbes family…

Running time: 25:44 mins Intro Shopping Channel advertising Royal Family Collection jewellery Named Characters and References Princess Margaret Marty Q Fingerheimer Cranthony (and his friend Franthony) Timmy Rockerfeller Queen of Lesberia Meathead McMurphy Blephony Hurwitz Anna Craig Bill Hicks Keywords Ad for ‘Worst Foot Forward’ podcast Plagued by questions in troubled times (ongoing struggles with…

Running time: 22:00 mins Intro Alien voice intercepts TV programme Named Characters and References Kev from down the pub Someone From Twitter Trelawney the Grey Shadow Your Dad Arthur C Clarke Keywords Microscopic sound minnows each listening to and repeating one millionth of a second is how sound travels Wireless phone charging pads work via…

Running time: 25:00 mins Intro Entertainer at The Cocunut Club Las Vegas Named Characters and References Wingnut and Jerome Millie; Gwen; Marcus (letters to Wingnut) Igor Stravinsky and the fabulous dancing children Walter Jeggings Crat (English Heritage singer) The Queen and the Duke of Edinburgh Keywords Online Work Team Meeting during Covid lockdown where boss…

Running time: 27:46 mins Intro Surgeon Named Characters and References Boxer and his Master – Hugo Billings Skank McGillicudy Jordan from the National Blood Drive Association and Micquel Paul Williams (Composer) The Narrator (Stan Lee)’s characters: Iodine Boy, The Amazing Dave, Screwloose the Nutty Robot, Boob Window, Bob the Reverse Engineer, A Scance Lad, Premature…

Running time: 21:57 mins Intro Lawyer in court Named Characters and References Martin / Deborah / Switchblade Harris (Wingnut letters) Marvin Glick Hilary Larson Capt Harold Rasmussen Big Steve Tedeski Keywords Purposelessly unpleasant social media Something to throttle with the dying gasps of your energy Man reporting crime to police officer – All right mate,…

Running time: 2.48 mins Keywords Recently moved house Magic 8 Ball in the toilet Life-size bust of Benjamin Disraeli eating a hot dog Farting to make the new place feel like home Sincerity alert Wooden Overcoats crowdfunder

Running time: 32.11 mins Intro Pre-intro plug for Discount Bin Josh the children’s TV show (feat. Congratugator and their birthday sack, BTS, and a decorated ashtray) presenter Named Characters and References An old janitor dressed as a Dracula Charles Lindbergh FDR Student called Martin from Hampshire and his extensive skincare regime, chanting til 3am, and…

Running time: 20.08 mins Intro Pre-intro plug for Podpodpod with Benjamin Partridge (available at patreon.com/crowleytime) Carnival barker: Alice the Cloven-Hooved Seamstress, Andrew the Retired Businessman with 1,000 Teeth All Over His Body, James the Incredible Social Media Influencer with No Nipples Named Characters and References Mary from Grantham’s Bank Aunty Gertrude Keywords Shorter ep as…

Running time: 26.29 mins Intro Announcement to the Ladies and Bantlemen (Fiefdom of Accountbury, Wanker Squad in Upper Management) Named Characters and References Sir Chuntley Buffingham Roger Prendergast Chantrey (the butler) Lord Martlebank David Attenborough Phoebe Waller-Bridge Angie, 25 years old from Finsbury Park Cara Delevingne Josh Widdicombe Judd Apatow Keywords A penny saved is…

Running time: 25.51 mins Intro German U-Boat captain Named Characters and References Plugbot (1:19 & 22:12 & 23:22) Ted Bunderson Buzz Rod (Serling) Tabitha Chalmers Alfred Hitchcock Jonathan Whiteman, BAFTA-winning comedy writer Nicholas Caucasian-Smyth, BAFTA-winning comedy writer Stephen Weaving, stand-up comedian Phil Morepages Jeremy Heartsick Eddie Paintbrush Adam Milkbottle-Totterington, BAFTA-winning comedy writer Keywords Third time’s…

Running time: 25.39 mins Intro Pilot announcement Named Characters and References Artie Holtzman Frau Vendling Susan Sarandon Jordan Peterson Bernard Bresslaw Woody Guthrie Jimmy Charles Chaplin Zack Tackle Gary O’Rourke Lord Peter Jacob Cratt of Dorking Keywords Absolute unit Janus Monster Secret second Twitter account Review Night ‘I Keeps My Brain In My Head’ The…

Running time: 21.42 Intro Person stuck in a room with an AGA and a dreadful feeling it might be Crowley Time. Named Characters and References Leanne Clive Deborah in Accounts Steve from Marketing Brian John Hammond Dr Douglas Dorkin Joe Scribblin’ Hank Keywords Job interview Party company Spume nightclub Jurassic Park Richard Attenborough Blood-sucking lawyer…