Running time: 12:11 mins
Matters of Concern
This episode shares an adventure found in the Tape Room in episode 32, played in by the beach music guy with his laidback beach ballads that all sound the same as each other: “Hear the Mast Chris roar of the little kids screaming for mercy”.
“Matters of Concern”, a TV show from the days when discussion programmes could go on for ages. Watergate and Mrs Thatcher are referenced. Host: Dudley Delerio asks whether Mast Chris is given unfair prominence in the calendar – can ‘Mast Chris in December’, i.e. Christmas, hope to ever get as much attention?
Mr Christmas, the jolly old ogre from the North Pole, joins Dudley to discuss, along with Captain Mast Chris, the semi-mythical sky pirate.
The Captain argues that children are not taught to mend their ways at Christmastime by being nice once a year. The Captain admits to sometimes skewering children and their families with cutlasses. Mr Christmas calls Mast Chris a “violent, magical sadist” who would be doing his misdeeds anyway, so is not a proper festive mascot.
Mast Chris was summoned from hell/a hell-like reality to seek out nasty little tykes for the betterment of humanity. Festive figures include these two, the Easter Bunny and the Maundy Thursday Bat.
Mister Christmas accuses Dudley of having a Mast Chris bias (because of his Hawaiian shirt, flip-flops, and cocktail umbrellas in his hair).
Mr Christmas says “tough shit” and Dudley asks him to repeat the “rude word”.
The clip from the show ends with a brawl between Mr Christmas and Mast Chris.
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