Running time: 40:19 mins
Guest
John Rain
Named Characters and References
Paul Kettle
Mr Buchanan
‘You Bet’
Fred Garrison
Gordon Kenny
Elton John
Columbo
Keywords
East Oxhey, Watford, Hertfordshire
Proper history (a million years) > semi-old history
The letterbox of perception and the lawn furniture of fact
Mr Buchanan on ‘You Bet’ (popping balloons with his nipples)
City status because of half-built cathedral
Fred Garrison went to war and never came back
The Ballbag Gates (since AD 406) – traitor gates festooned with intact, removed bollock sacks
Ken the chimp kicked to death by Celts
Shakespeare invented 98% of English
Uncle Lance Kettle impaled through anus on one-third of gate
Vile horseplay or a precarious time of spontaneous combustion?
“Let’s not worry about how it happened.”
Uncle passed away in 2007 after Henry hoover pipe went up anus
VR headset keeps track of Henry (this Henry looks like Columbo with the VR sensor in the eye)
Sentient eHenry (not Oh Henry) snuffling like a truffle pig
Asimov rule
Multiple blogs: Save the Ballbag Gates / hertfordshireballbaggatesfund.blogspot.com / putballbagsbackonthemap.wordpress
Barclays bank manager, Gordon Kenny
The Oxhey Interferer newspaper
Carvings of Elton John giving the thumbs up with slogan ‘Watford FC shits on Luton’
‘Candle in the Wind’
Crowley Time Wiki 